No substitute......

I teach second year students from the local University. It has been a privilege and a pleasure, and I have loved doing it. I have done it for many years.

They come to me in groups of 4, and this is the first time in their course that they have real contact with patients. I am teaching them a number of skills, such as how to present a case history to an irascible consultant, and how to examine the cranial nerves amongst many many other things.

There are 12 cranial nerves, and a number of mnemonics on how to remember the order.


"On Old Olympus Towering Tops....." starts one old (classical) mnemonic.


Another bawdy one starts "Oh! Oh! Oh! To Try And...." Modesty forbids my completing a rather juvenile one.


The one I use is "Oh! Oh! Oh! Try To Ask For A Good Veal And Ham pie"


I. Olfactory II. Optic III. Oculomotor
IV. Trochlear V. Trigeminal VI. Abducent
VII. Facial VIII. Auditory IX. Glosso-pharyngeal
X. Vagus XI. Accessory XII. Hypoglossal


There is another mnemonic for whether the nerve is Sensory (Afferent), Motor (Efferent) or Both. This goes...


"Some Say Marry Money But My Brother Says Big Boobs Matter More."

It keeps the Jobbing Doctor on his toes, and helps my clinical examination skills. The Second Year student equivalent of the uphill start is taking the Blood Pressure. I teach them using a mercury sphygmomanometer (not the new electronic ones that I don't like), and a stethoscope. Korotkoff sounds and all that jazz.

They are now at the stage where they ought to think about buying their first stethoscope. The important thing is to go for quality, because that really matters. I would go for a Littmann stethoscope every time (I have 3).

So any doting parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts who want to buy their medical student progeny a present, get a Littmann.

There is no substitute for quality.